Understanding Your Primary School Child's Interest in Romantic Play

If your child is in primary school and talking about having a "boyfriend" or "girlfriend," you might feel surprised or unsure about whether this is typical behavior. It's important to recognize that children at this age often explore social and emotional development through play, imagination, and social interactions that resemble adult relationships but are not romantic in the adult sense.

Children may refer to having a "crush," or engage in role-playing games involving dating or marriage. These behaviors are part of normal childhood development and serve as a way for children to learn about social norms, emotional expression, and forming bonds with others.

The primary reasons children engage in these playful relationship behaviors include:

• Exploring their social environment and understanding relationships
• Practicing emotionally safe ways to express feelings and navigate social norms
• Influenced by media, stories, and observations of older siblings or peers
• Seeking social approval and feeling a sense of belonging

While these behaviors are typical, it's important for parents and caregivers to set healthy boundaries. If children are displaying physical affection like hugging or holding hands, ensure that it is appropriate and consensual. Any forced physical contact, like "catch and kiss" games, should be addressed to teach about personal boundaries.

As children approach puberty, feelings of attraction may become more intense and romantic relationships may develop. Open communication about respect, consent, and feelings is essential during this stage. Parents should discuss what consent looks and feels like, emphasizing that children should never feel pressured to do something uncomfortable.

Talking openly and non-judgmentally with your child helps foster trust. Avoid making fun of or criticizing their feelings, and instead, encourage them to express themselves. Asking questions like "What do you like about your friend?" can help depersonalize the topic and make conversations easier.

If you notice behavior that seems inappropriate or concerning, or if you suspect any child is experiencing pressure or coercion, it is advisable to speak with the other child's parents or school authorities to address these issues. Reinforce that feeling safe and comfortable is paramount.

In summary, children's interest in temporary or playful romantic relationships is a normal part of their social development. Providing guidance, setting boundaries, and maintaining open dialogue can help support healthy emotional and social growth during childhood.

Source: https://medicalxpress.com/news/2025-05-primary-school-child-boyfriend-girlfriend.html